EMPATHS - ARE YOU IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST?
Have you ever met someone who seemed to say all the right things to win your heart but their actions rarely matched their empty promises or their fake proclamation of love? If yes - you may have been in a relationship with a Narcissist who can turn off love just as easily they turned it on because they use fake love to use people. (This is in reference to type 2 narcissists who intentionally abuse / hurt people with full awareness )
A Narcissist has various past traumas & core wounds from their past.
They hide behind a false mask they created for the world to see - of an ideal person who is caring.
But the reality is far from it, they are self-centered & cruel. Often becoming like their abusers from their own traumatic past - they can be manipulative to the point of making their victims doubt their own sanity & self worth.
Some Narcissists are so beyond damaged they are not at all concerned with self-improvement - they think they are perfect and have earned the right to get away with hurting people for their selfish gain.
Just like fashionistas who have shut down their empathy towards killing animals for their fur coats & leather bags - similarly Narcissists focus only on fulfilling their needs even if they hurt someone in the process.
I know certain narcissists who pretend being spiritual/ ethical and actually dedicate their time helping spiritual/ethical organizations to gain popularity & respect - so that they seem emotionally & spiritually evolved.
Narcissists hate being alone, they hate looking within to understand their past trauma or currents actions - they prefer jumping from one relationship to another or even engage in multiple relationships at one time, while simultaneously lying to all the people involved in their relationships.
They are very aware of the consequences of their wrongful actions but what actually concerns them is calculating the risk of getting away with a misdeed - so that they can have their cake and eat it too.
That's when an Empath comes in - they are the perfect victim for narcissists. Empaths are generous, giving, sensitive and are optimists who want to see the highest potential in everyone they meet.
Empaths literally feel the needs/ emotions/ fears of others - as their own - in their own bodies. They are the best listeners and are always attuned to what others' need - often ignoring their own needs in the process.
Empaths have also had a traumatic past but being so unconditionally loving & giving by nature - they feel the need to fix everyone around them because they subconsciously need help to fix their own traumas.
Thus, Empaths become the easiest prey for power hungry Narcissists.
Because of this need to drain emotional energy from others, narcissists are often called energetic vampires. This depletion in life-force energy can lead to empaths feeling emotionally frozen, anxious & depressed - they feel like they are losing their sanity - their understanding of what they need & what they don't.
I have seen many empaths leave these toxic relationships and suddenly feel lighter, healthier and calmer.
But A lot of Empaths find it really difficult to end these toxic relationships as they keep believing in the potential of the narcissist being good.
They hold on to all the memories of being wooed by the narcissist and all the charming / loving things that were said in the initial courtship period.
I even know of many empaths who confess that the narcissist was honest from the beginning about not being able to commit but they always said such wonderfully loving things every time they wanted something from their victims - only to ignore them when they didn't need something from them ......and these empaths thought it was so noble of the narcissist to be honest and believed their truly cared.
They even made excuses for their bad behaviour - saying that the narcissist is a good person just going through so much stress that they cannot be blamed for their actions nor do they want to burden the narcissist with any of their complaints.
So these kind of empaths are unable to look out for their own needs or to have healthy boundaries - and either have low self worth or have this innate need to fix the narcissist.
The solution: is to really evaluate a person’s actions when you question them on their selfish or hurtful behaviour.
Do they take responsibility by changing their actions consistently or do they just say the right things to temporarily calm you down but their actions continue to be hurtful?
And This question applies to every human not just a narcissist.
Learn to walk away from all kinds of abusive/ toxic relationships that do not have the right balance of reciprocity (respectful/ understanding of give & take)
Be more vigilant on whom you allow into your life by connecting with your higher self to see if the persons's actions actually match their sweet words.
The lessons can be intense but can also be empowering for anyone who walks away from a toxic relationship - by learning how to become more assertive and by embracing your self-worth through self love & practices like ascension healing or get professional help.
There is also hope for narcissists if they choose to change but they need to go straight to the professionals and not prey on empaths to help them change..... so that the professionals can reconnect them back to their higher self to heal their core wounds.
Everyone deserves compassion and unconditional love but that doesn’t mean you accept abuse and disrespect. You can still love someone and wish them well but not engage with them when there are being emotionally or physically abusive without even trying to change.
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