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  • Writer's pictureAnjali Lavania

Why Are you unintentionally hurting your loved ones again and again?

What is awareness? Awareness is the ability to directly know and perceive, to feel, or to be cognizant of events . More broadly, it is the state of being conscious of something. What is being conscious? To notice that a particular thing or person exists or is present By thinking, and knowing what is happening around you. What is empathy ? Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Now that we know the literal meanings of awareness, empathy and being conscious - can you please tell me what is wrong with the “left side” of the attached image and what is correct on the “right side” of the image? The image on the left side is indicative of a person wanting to be in a loving relationship and the partner loving them inspite of their hurtful actions - but unfortunately if you don’t consciously take care to protect your loved ones from your hurtful actions - they will constantly be hurt because they love you unconditionally 🤕 Can you honestly say that your actions and behaviour with other people indicates : 1, Complete awareness of what is happening with in the overall situation, with you and the other person involved? .......or is it indicative of only your selfish perspective of what you want to see in the situation? 2, Being truly conscious of what you and the other person are actually doing and saying .....or are you acting out of defence mechanisms and being stubborn, rigid and self- centered, where you so busy defending yourself that you aren’t really using your awareness to understand what the other person is saying or where they are coming from ? 3, Empathy for the other person by understanding why they are behaving the way they are behaving .....or are you just focused on your troubles and your problems ? I know there are times when the above three might happen in varying ratios; where you might sometimes be aware, conscious or empathetic but then sometimes you choose yourself over the other person, out of habit and not necessarily out of doing - the right thing! So what is wrong or right? When does one give in and when does one defend themselves? When is one being selfish and when is one being a victim? Each situation is unique but the bottom line is: that as long as you operate from a place of being aware of the over all situation, and conscious of what everyone is saying and doing, with empathy of why they are doing what they are doing and saying what they are saying - YOU ARE THEN BEING YOUR HIGHER SELF AND CAN OBJECTIVELY MAKE THE CORRECT DECISION THAT COULD BE A WIN WIN DECISION FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED. That is the magic of the image on the right side, to not only be aware of what the other person is doing right or wrong but to be aware of what you are doing right or wrong.... and then to ensure you correct your wrongs amd help the other person understand where they are going wrong - to find a win win solution that will benefit each relationship! You can be overworked, busy, sad, depressed but there is no excuse for taking advantage of your loved ones by continuously saying; “you didn’t intentionally mean to hurt them,” and at the same time there is no point of saying; “you love someone unconditionally,” - and allow them to Unintentionally hurt you, OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Love light and blessings Anjali  

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